What You need to Know, in Order to Improve your Life

It seems like everyone is searching for secrets to health, wealth, and happiness. The catch is if you understand yourself, then you'd have the knowledge to be both successful in personal relationships and in business relationships. Like everything, this begins with a plan. Whether you’re anticipating improving your relationship with your spouse or family member, or move up the corporate ladder, this is all a result of personal growth. 

"How great is the one who finds wisdom! 

But no one is superior to the person who fears the Lord. 

Fear of the Lord surpasses all things. 

Those who have it are beyond compare.” 

Sirach 25:10-11, NLT.

So the first thing you need to know is to know yourself. Every move you make in your life depends on your self-awareness. How do you fit in the big-picture? What are your vision, qualifications, talents, and passions? What is the size of your faith? 

Who are you and what you can do best?

Individual growth starts with doing your best at every moment, in your career, home, or daily activities. Goals setting no matter how small enables us to soar to new heights and give us the confidence to accomplish more.  In setting your goals, please don't always put money at the center of your life. Work for eternal life.

Let’s for example, explore a butterfly’s life cycle. Butterfly has four stages of life. All butterflies have "complete metamorphosis." To grow into an adult which is its maturity stage, the butterfly has to go through 4 stages: egg, larva (caterpillar), pupa, and adult. Each stage has a different goal - for instance, caterpillars need to eat a lot, and adults need to reproduce. 

The same applies to you, what you need to understand, is to identify in which stage you are, and what are the most important things you must do to move forward and ultimately improve your life.

Many times, individuals stay hung up on other people’s expectations of what it is to be successful. Each of us has another idea of what makes us content. It's important to acknowledge that if we spend most of our time and effort trying to reach another person’s goals, then we find ourselves perpetually searching for meaning and continue to be distressed. Recognizing what is important is the first step to improving personal life. 

“My child test yourself all your life, 

learn what is bad for you, and do not give in to it. 

 For not everything is good for everyone, 

nor is everything enjoyable, to everyone.” 

Sirach 37: 27-28, NLT.

Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance is the key to success. Some individuals don't see the concept of success beyond their own needs. Frequently we're caught up in serving a dominant function, which overshadows our natural strengths. This results in stress and imbalance in one’s life. 

Learning to do things for yourself and your own needs is vital to improving your personal life. If you're always doing for others, and seldom take time out for you, then you're building stress rather than improving life. Your happiness should come first. Finding it hard to say no to others becomes more common and we find ourselves so engulfed by the needs of others. 

Learn to have an even balance in your life with everything you do and center on what you want is another way to improve your personal life.

Putting yourself down perpetually, finding it hard to accept compliments, and wishing you are someone else are simple examples that you may be sabotaging your own life. Encourage positive self-talk with yourself and to other people, don't speak negatively about yourself and other people. Understanding that no matter what happens to you, your life still matters. 

Improve Your Self-Confidence

Improving your self-confidence is extremely important when your target is to improvise your personal life. This will take putting your positive beliefs in the front of your mind, and day-after-day taking away the negative thoughts. Believing in you is another key to success.

Surround yourself around encouraging, not discouraging individuals. If you just make small steps to do these things, you'll already be improving your personal life without realizing it. The key to success is moving forward. You'll need to learn steps to move ahead and stop looking back. Naturally, history is important, yet you want to avoid lingering over past mistakes. Your mistakes are learning tools. Use them, learn from the mistakes, and move ahead.

When you surround yourself with positive influences, it helps you to gain the power of processing your life. You have control over the conversation and your community. Take back your control and you will improve your overall personal life exponentially.

"So my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. 

Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, 

for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." 

1 Corinthians 15: 58, NLT.

The following video is an expanded version of what you can do in order to improve your life. You'll hear 15 different ideas on what you can do to improve your life. 

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Goals Setting Formula That Improves Your Personal Life

In life, we have the formula to use that helps us to create goals that assist us in improving our personal life. To start these goals, however, we must use our inner qualities. The inner qualities include skills, ability to commit, ability to set priorities, ability to accept failure, the will to say no, and so on. We have self-awareness, personality, and other details within. As well as those characters that help us to find ways to improve our personal life.

"Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible." This is a quote from Tony Robbins, the author of the book: Awaken The Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!

Once you find your qualities, start to develop them and you'll find it easy to set goals. To get started consider brainstorming the long-term goals, the short-term goals, and the evaluation of these goals. Brainstorming some more, continuous evaluation, and so on. And in doing so, you'll want to consider managing your time as well.

"I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things

 or that I have already reached perfection. 

But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, 

but I focus on this one thing:

 Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. 

I press on to reach the end of the race 

and receive the heavenly prize for which, God,

 through Christ Jesus, is calling us." 

Philippians 3:12-15, NLT.

Be sure to start your plans with short-term goals. The short-term goals should lead up to your long-term goals. Short-term goals should include what you want to accomplish in the next few years. 

Do you plan to open a business? 

Do you plan to move to another place? 

Do you plan to start a new job?

Do you plan to start writing your book? 

Do you want to enroll in a new course?

Each question will lead you in a good direction as you find answers. For example, If I plan to open a business in the next few years, then it's sensible to ask these questions: 

How do you plan to open that business? 

What business are you considering?

 How will you get the money (capital) to start your business? 

Do you have a business plan?

What are your market and your competitive advantage?

You have many options, so check your resources, learn new resources, and constantly continue building your dreams to improve your personal life.

After you lay out the plans for your short-term dreams, start working toward your long-term goals. By now, you should already have found your 'calling' to reach your dream destination. For instance, in the next ten years:

What do you see yourself doing in the long-run? 

What kind of legacy do you leave to the next generation?

How much immune to stay afloat is your business?

Use your visions and voices you hear inside to cultivate a better plan. Do the research and brainstorm your ideas thoroughly. And at the same time apply the creative, imaginative, innovative, and analytical mindset to make the best decisions.

To set up long-term plans keep them realistic. There are two available kinds of goals setting techniques you can apply in your life. The first one is abbreviated as SMART goals and the second one as HARD goals. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely. On the other hand, HARD stands for Heartfelt, Animated, Required, and Difficult It is the achievement of the second one - the HARD goals that will bring to you much satisfaction.

Be sure that your long-term falls in accord with your short-term goals. For example, if you plan to start a business in the next few years, build upon this dream and plan to become productive and established shortly after business conception. Start saving money to back your plans. You will need to set up a budget that allows you to save money. Actually, you have many options so spread your wings and get ready to take-off and reach for the sky as your limit. 

“The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.” 

1 Peter 1:9, NLT

Here's an animated video that gives us a complete guide on goal setting. This video was produced by Jack Heimbigner. In the SMART goal technique discussed above, Jack had added ER to maker it read - SMARTER goals, where E and R stand for Evaluate and Reward respectively.

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Great, Good Intentions For Better Life

 

Great intentions are the ultimate choice for making your life better. If you've bad intentions, it's a sign you're filled with greed, envy, detest, etc. You want all these damaging influences out of your life. Intentions are mighty. Intentions tell other people where our goals are heading. Intentions are the motive that helps us to accomplish our objectives.

To execute your intentions, you must possess a high degree of discipline otherwise you should remember that: the road to hell is paved with good intentions. That means, it is not enough to aim at something but you must hit the target. Aim and hit the target that is what successful planning and successful execution, is all about.

Your intention is very crucial in judging the quality of anything you do. To know whether your actions are good or evil, you need to analyze three things: first, your intentions, second the results or outcome of your actions, and third the circumstances where the actions took place. If you keep your good intention and act honestly, then you'll be in a very good position to do good deeds always.

 

To learn your intentions you have to put forth the effort. Occasionally you'll feel bad-tempered, and grit your teeth, yet as you continue to learn you'll see a light at the end of the tunnel. So what if some of your intentions are foul? Welcome to realism, humanity, and imperfection. Yet, you are able to change those foul intentions to great thoughts.

"If one individual commits unintentional sin, 

the guilty person must bring a one-year-old female goat for a sin offering. 

The priest will sacrifice it to purify the guilty person before the LORD and that person will be forgiven." 

Numbers 15:27-28, NLT. 

NB: The point in the above text is not on the kind of sacrifice to be offered in order to gain sin forgiveness, no, because we now know that our Lord Jesus Christ offered Himself as a sacrifice once and for all, but the mention of the above text lies in the fact that even un-intentional sin needs purification or reconciliation. It looks like, un-intentional evil, just like intentional evil, defiles you! So, you better be careful with your intentions of doing things. 

Now, let's see what the Scriptures have to say about the person who intends to do evil deliberately. 

"But those who brazenly violate the LORD's will, 

whether native-born Israelite or foreigner, 

have blasphemed the LORD and they must be cut off from the community. 

Since they have treated the LORD's word with contempt and deliberately disobeyed his command, 

they must be completely cut off and suffer the punishment for their guilt." 

Numbers 15:30-31, NLT. 

 

It always helps an individual to put down their intentions. When you put down your intentions on paper, it helps you to discover you. Many individuals don't like to write; all the same, if you keep a journal you are able to look back later to see your growth stage. It only takes a couple of minutes daily to jot down your feelings, thoughts, ideas, etc.

 

Discover you and what alternatives you have available. Pull up resources. As a matter of fact, build resources. Resources are the key that unlocks the doorways to success. Check your intentions. What is the ideal career for you? Pull up your assets and utilize them to your benefit. Do a job search to help you discover a new vocation that makes you happy. Always follow through with your plans. Never quit and demand results.

 

Take action by recording your particular needs and wants. Go over the inner pictures you develop and listen to the voices that tell you how you are able to better your personal life. Learn to train your conscious to live healthier. We have instincts inside us. Learn to restore your instincts and listen. Listening is the key to help you make your personal life better. 

"For the word of God is alive and powerful. 

It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. 

It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. 

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. 

Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the only one we are accountable." 

Hebrews 4: 12-13, NLT.

Here's a video interview of Dr. Joe Dispenza explaining the intention, as it's to be clear to what you want. He went on to discuss many other things related to those experiences. Listen to him yourself to hear what he said.

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Earn Competency To Make Your Life Better

Do you have the competency to better your daily living and overall humane existence, or do you lack this character? To make your personal living better, you have to discover the competence to take charge. In life, we have inner coaches, counselors, etc that help us to accomplish things in life. 

"And athletes can not win the prize 

unless they follow the rules." 

2 Timothy 2:5, NLT.

We likewise have helpful authorities in the world who will take the time to help those who find it hard to help themselves. You've got a lot of options and resources available to you.

Competency is earned. An individual with competence will take what they learn and utilize it to solve different states of affairs in their life. A competent individual always sees the new light at the end of every tunnel.

When an individual has competence, he or she feels joyous. A joyous individual will consider every incident, experience, and so forth in life as something they may learn from; as well this individual won't allow bad weigh him or her down. The individual will take the bad; see new light and continuing learning from his or her errors.

You'll have to learn how to suspend judgments of self and other people. You're not the Man in control. Only one spiritual being has the right to call judgment down on anybody. Let this Man take the weight on His shoulders. You might need to pray often to cease judging yourself and other people.

It's ok to have views, but when you don't have facts to support your claims, why speak. Too many times individuals suspect, offer opinions, speculate, or jump to conclusions, which has caused major issues in the world. If you don't have facts behind you, or to support what you say, be quiet. Allow somebody else in the world to make the next error.

If you wish to live happier, you'll need to build your energy. To build energy you'll need to eat right, exercise, and take great care of you. You'll need to associate with positive individuals and learn to help others as well as yourself. The more effort you put forth, the more you'll get back from your efforts.

"Work hard so you can present yourself to God,

and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth." 

2 Timothy 2: 15, NLT.

Here's is a video where the speaker, Professor Justin Reich from Massachusetts Institute of Technolgy, explains to us, what exactly is competency-based-education is all about.

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Changing Your Habits For Better Living

          

Habits, oh those foul habits. Habits are acquired from training, influences, observance, and practice. We acquire a lot of habits throughout our life, which some are good and others are foul like cigarette tobacco smoking. Good habits we may keep, but if one wants to make their life better then, the foul habits have to take a hike. 

Eliminating bad habits however isn't simple, especially if a dependency is involved. For example, cigarette tobacco smoking has a health warning on its pack that: the habit of smoking is harmful to your health, but smokers read it, throw the pack away, lit the cigarette, and continue smoking as usual. Why do they do that: they do it because of psychological dependency.  Cigarettes contain nicotine - a highly addictive psychoactive chemical. For this reason, we may learn the hard way on how to change our habits.

 

The First Step to Changing your Habits

Stop making excuses and be open to finding a workable solution. Individuals wander through life making excuses. Anytime an individual sees something complicated, they'll frequently make excuses for why they can't deal with the issue. This is a rough-cut problem in the world, which we’ve all heard millions of times. If you're out to make your life better, you need to state, "This is something that blocks me from accomplishment and I have got the might to change it."

 

One of the great classical philosophers, Aristotle, once said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit!"

          

The first key to success is to quit making excuses. You are able to commit by choosing a fresh habit.   If it seriously matters to you, you'll find a way to do it better but not useless excuses.

 

You should commit yourself by affirming that: "Today I'm going to quit judging other people and myself." This is a common error individuals make in the world. They spend time labeling other people and themselves. This gets them nowhere but in a world of chaos and wasting their energy unwisely.

"Renounce your errors,

amend your ways,

and cleanse your heart from all sins." 

Sirach 38: 10, NLT.

 

The Next Step to Changing your Habits          

The next step to changing your habits lies in your self-talk.

Do you think negatively? I can’t change this. My life is full of bunk; I can’t swing it any longer. Why me? If you spend your life believing negative and stating negative connotations, attempt changing your ways today. For example, state this, "I may change something and I'm going to, no matter what." Rather than stating life is full of bunk, accept it as truth yet move forward to make your life better.

           

Once you begin to make changes to improve your life, begin small. Rather than jumping the gun, take little steps to success. Too many times individuals try to change overnight. This only leads to frustration. 

Change like how the baby undergoes growth metamorphosis. Whet the baby is born, it learns to run by starting with: crawling, then walking the baby steps, then normal walking, and finally running. Just make sure once you finish one step, then go to learn how to master the next step.

Seek Support and Feedback           

When you're working to change your life and habits, make certain you seek support and feedback from your friends or the people you trust especially your teachers. Alternatively, you can do research from a trusted website on the internet to measure your progress. This could help you discover your rating against worldwide standard achievement in those areas you're trying to improve. 

You don't have to walk the road to success alone. Feedback can also be discovered at your library, as said before - the internet, at colleges, etc. Ask somebody you trust to support you and provide you feedback when required as well

You could read the Bible as a mirror to learn the best pathway, your life should take. Study what its message and then conform to it.  If you do it prayerfully and wholehearted faith, then you might - one day after long departure to heaven, you'll be canonized as a saint, leaving behind the modal habit and heroic virtues!

"But don't just listen to God's word. 

You must do what it says. Otherwise, you're only fooling yourselves. 

For if you listen to the word and don't obey, it is like glancing at your face in the mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 

But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, 

and if you do what it says, and don't forget what you heard, 

then God will bless you for doing it." 

James 1: 22-25,NLT. 

Here's a video that discusses the ideas written in the book called, "Atomic Habits" written by James Clear. It's worth reading and watching the video. 

           

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Developing the Attribute of Courage for Better Life

 

Once you establish courage, you begin to better your life. Constructing courage will help you take risks to a brighter future that you usually wouldn't take. When you establish courage, you put fear behind you. Bravery is the process of admitting that you have dreads, yet you're willing to determine a way to defeat those fears and not let these fears take charge of you. It's OK to experience your fears at suitable times.

Read the following texts from the Scriptures to see courage in action:

"But David persisted. 'I have been looking after my father's sheep and goats' 

he said, 'When a lion or bear comes to steal a lamb fro the flock. I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. 

If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. I have done this to both lions and bears, and I'll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, 

for he has defiled the armies of the living God! 

The LORD who rescued me from the claws of the lion and bear 

will rescue me from this Philistine.' 

Saul finally consented, 'Alright, go ahead,' 

he said, 'And may the LORD be with you!'" 

1 Samuel 17: 34-37, NLT. 

When you establish courage, you'll learn to self-direct yourself in life. You'll learn to accept punishment and rewards graciously. A courageous individual will frequently feel motivated to accept blame and responsibility while critiquing their actions and utilizing what they learn to move forward. Brave individuals will step to the front, instead of stepping back when opportunities come their way. On the other hand, a brave individual will step back and take a view of his or her errors gracefully.

 

An individual willing to make their life better will relax. This individual will relax even when plans fail. For example, if it stormed the next day the individual will find something else to occupy his or her time and feel just as happy about joining this adventure.

"And if a person loves righteousness, 

wisdom's labors have great virtue, 

for she teaches: self-control, prudence, justice, and courage -

 the most valuable attributes in life." 

Wisdom 8:7, NLT.  

 

Learn To Trust Yourself

To get successful and make your life better, you'll need to learn how to trust yourself. When you trust yourself, you are able to trust others also. Regrettably, we live in a world where trust is difficult to find, yet when you trust you, you can’t blame other people when things go wrong.

 

Making your life better includes utilizing your creative and critical mind. When you can produce fresh ideas or adding great values to existing ones, you're off to the road to success. You've many options in this world; it takes you to pull up resources to find those choices.

 

Occasionally in life, we feel uncomfortable. In fact, this is common. Are you willing to accept your irritations? Maybe at an interview, you feel lost. Are you willing to accept this irritation and discover a way to deliver a great speech to impress the interviewer? Alternatively, are you willing to allow negative energies to cost you the job?

 

Acceptance is your key to happiness. When you are able to learn to accept the good with the bad, you are able to learn how to live happier and better your life. If you can't accept, however, well, reread this material again.

"Be on guard. 

Stand firm in the faith. 

Be courageous. 

Be strong. 

And do everything with love." 

1 Corinthians 16: 13-14, NLT.

Here's a video, a powerful motivation speech on courage presented as a poem.

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Your Personal Life Changes Starts with Acceptance

Do you have the knack to accept the things you can change and the things you can't change? Can you accept the numerous changes that occur in your life? There's a phrase that says: a leopard can't change its spots.

We, like the leopard, there are certain facts in our life we simply can't change. For example, you can't change your past. You can't stop the time. You can't change the fact that we must eat in order to live. But you've all the power to change today and the future which In turn the "today" will become the past when we arrive in the future. So, watch out how you live.

When You Learn To Accept, You'll Learn To Discover

When you are able to accept things in life, including you and other people you find a way to take charge. When you're in command, it helps you to see how you are able to better your personal life. When you learn to accept you'll learn to discover you.

Many individuals in the world believe that when we act the same way at all times, we have instituted our identity. Politically incorrect! We have emotions, thoughts, behaviors, actions, and have been infested by a world of influences both great and foul. Every day we will feel something new, which causes our personality to reflect these modifications.

We live in a world that desensitizes us. We're surrounded by millions of influences on TV, in the media, on radio, the internet, in homes, government, schools, etc. Each to their own, but everybody is judging somebody at some time, which is something we have to accept. We can't alter these people’s behaviors and ways of thinking, but we may change ours. This is a component of learning and accepting. 

The best way around the world is to become your own influence and let other influences make another person's life misfortunate. It has been said: one man's meat is another man's poison. Know your tastes, make the necessary changes, and move on striving to achieve your dream.

"Anyone who accepts his testimony can affirm that God is true." 

John 3:33, NLT.

Your Good Conduct Can Change Others

Once you learn to accept you'll be eager to laugh. Take, for example, if somebody makes you crazy you'll see the humor in his or her actions. You might see the humor in your actions if you make an error and feed into their stupidity. Once you begin to see the humor in life, you'll feel better inside. When you learn to change to better you, others might follow. Good conduct has proven far more effective than words to promote others to change. Actually, action speaks louder than words!

As you grow you'll feel a fresh hunger, and that hunger will guide you to discover fresh ways to better you. In time as you begin to feel better, you will see a need to exercise, eat correctly, and hang out with positive influences, and so on. Once you feel this hunger, you'll feel inspired to labor to accomplish your goals.

"Then Peter replied, 'I see very clearly that God shows no favoritism.

 In every nation, he accepts those who fear him and do what is right.'" 

Acts 10:34-35, NLT.

Here's the video that answers the question; What is self-acceptance?

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The First Step to Become the Best Version of Yourself

What is the thing that is most holding you back from being the best version of yourself?

You might be tempted to say something along these lines of ‘time’, ‘energy’, ‘money’ or ‘opportunity’. Perhaps you feel limited by other people in one way or another?

I have a hunch, and let me tell you the one thing which is a big part of what’s holding you back is: your own sense of self. In other words: you might well be limited by your attachment to the ‘old you’. The other thing is the eagerness to be seen as consistent and reliable instead of focusing on what matters most - the actual results. You're wearing a personality mask to disguise yourself by expressing yourself and then trapped to go on to molds your appearance to fit the way people expected to see you. And as a result, your happiness depends on other people's approval. In a real sense, you appear to have no confidence in yourself and as a result, you can not think independently.

Matthew Kelly, the author of the book: Becoming the Best Version of Yourself, once said, "Freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want. Freedom is the strength of character to do what is good, true, noble, and right."

Please, I plead to you, the first step to becoming the best version of yourself is let the best version of you, that makes you unique, to start living towards your life's goals. Leave an unforgettable mark for the future generation that you existed and walked on this planet. You've to find your destiny. And to realize that, you've to nurse and nurture the best version of yourself 

"Don't favor others so much that you harm yourself,

or defer to others to the point that you cause your own downfall." 

Sirach 4:22, NLT.  

Consistency

We all have an attachment to who we think we are. We all have a notion of ourselves and of who others think we are as well. For example, you may see yourself as someone lighthearted who is never serious. Or perhaps you see yourself as being a local at heart, who supports the local sports team and who would never leave home.

We like the sense of continuity that this brings and other people like the fact that they know where they stand with us.

We don’t want to do something that is ‘out of character’ and we don’t want to go back on things we’ve said.

But is this really something you should cling to? Maybe your concept of ‘you’ is outdated? Now you know better!

We should always strive to grow to maturity and be consistent with our conscience. Danish existentialist philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard once said "Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are."

Adaptability is Key

If the chameleon taught us one thing, it is that adaptability is the most important trait when it comes to surviving and thriving. If you can’t adapt, then the world will change around you and you will become an anachronism.

Think about Covid-19, the Coronavirus pandemic the way it affected our social interaction. Who would have known the democratic nations would one day stay in the lockdown for months? To avoid the severe economic impacts of the lockdown, then you must be able to adapt to the new norms of survival like working-from-home with a high degree of adaptability.

With that in mind, what benefit is there for you to actively refuse to adapt and grow for your own and other benefits? Your success matters to others because the rising tide lifts all boats.

Have you ever wanted to do something differently, or take a sudden change in your life, but felt enormous pressure from people’s expectations of you?

If the answers sound familiar, then, this is the trap I'm talking about. And the irony is that many people are caught in it: the truest version of ‘you’ is simply the ‘you’ that God wants you to be. He is your creator and knows well your yesterday and tomorrow. Abide by his salvation plan and see what you'll be in the process. 

Be consistent with your conscience and follow the moral laws. The best way to be ‘you’ is to drop all other unrealistic expectations and simply act at the moment based on your higher spiritual quest. This is not only the first step towards the-best-version-of-you but also it'll be the giant leap towards your true freedom.

"But I warn you - unless your righteousness

 is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees,

 you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!" 

Matthew 5: 20, NLT.

Here's a video for Priyanka Chopra's 12 Rules for Becoming the Best Version of Yourself. Priyanka Chopra Jonas is a model, actress, philanthropist, and former winner of Miss World 2000 pageant. 

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When Self-Help Becomes Self-Damaging

The right self-help book or course can be a tremendously powerful tool. I have personally seen it transform people’s lives: I’ve seen people go from being nervous, shy, and unconfident and become far more naturally attractive, confident, and interesting.

In fact, in the classical culture the most admired thinkers like Plato (The Republic), Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics), Cicero, Seneca (on anger), Plutarch, and Marcus Aurelius (on meditation), all wrote the so-called, undeniably, self-help books. 

They deployed every resource of intelligence, wit, and style in writing their manuals in order to make sure their message would delight the intellectual as well as emotional faculties and ultimately helps humanity to make progress in life.  

But I would also argue on the damaging side of the self-help that things have been taken a little too far. There is so much self-help literature out there now and so much advice on how we can become better versions of who we are. But is it all constructive? If we consume everything labeled as self-help out there, are we really helping ourselves or damaging ourselves?

Why Self-Help Can be Damaging

While I’ve seen people who have been positively influenced by self-help texts, I’ve also seen people who have been damaged by them.

One of the most common ways this can happen is when self-help becomes a delay tactic. What I mean by this, is that people can use self-help as a means to delay the work they actually should be doing to improve themselves. You should clearly understand that: there's no alternative to hard work! Except on rare occasions that the job may be easy depending on how much resourceful and expert you are.

People will buy a self-help book and then will instantly feel as though they are making good progress toward being a better version of themselves. They’ve made the effort by buying the book after all: so they can pat themselves on the back and keep on reading.

And then they buy the next book. And the next book. And they feel great about themselves except they haven’t actually changed anything.

Self-help is destructive when it ends up being a delay tactic. If you are only using it in theory and never in practice, then it is hindering rather than helping your progress.

Knowing Who to Trust

"Follow the advice of your own heart,

for it is devoted to you more than anyone is.

Sometimes our own mind 

does a better job of keeping us informed

than seven watchmen sitting in a watchtower.

But above all these things

pray to the Most-High 

that he may direct you along the path of truth." 

Sirach 37:13-15, NLT.

The other issue is that self-help can be very mixed depending on where you get it from.

The problem with the internet is that anyone can contribute and there is lots of incentive to do so as a way to get views and thereby earn some cash.

The problem then is that you can end up following advice that is based on zero evidence and that has been written by someone in no position to be giving said advice. Hypocrites! They want to deal with your eyes' speck while they can't see clearly enough because of the log in their own eyes. First, they need to get rid of the log in their own eyes. They need to be honest in their approach. 

It’s common knowledge for example that visualizing your goals can help you to get what you want from life. But did you know that this only works if you visualize them in the correct way? Some studies suggest that having a goal is much less important than having a plan.

So question what you read, act on it, and then decide what works for you personally.

"Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity,

but hasty short cuts lead to poverty." 

Proverbs 21: 5, NLT.

The useful takeaway in the following video is that we should not give away, the power to change our life. To seek personal fulfillment we have to ask ourselves what we need to create instead of wallowing in self-judgment and trying to fix what isn't broken in real sense. The speaker concluded that: "Self-judgment can never, ever get you where you want to go."    

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