Human Mind: Its Effects On Thoughts And Behavior

The human mind is quite a complex organ of the human body. It is amazing to learn about the working of a mind when a person is fully conscious and in a subconscious state. However, many times, you may have wanted to change yourself and your thoughts into a brand new person but found yourself with many challenges. 

But before turning to a new person, you have to think of the person you want to be and visualize him or her. In other words, it is a game of mind that makes you turn into a new person. Check also the environment you're living in to make sure that it's compatible with your new aspiring self.

Darren Hardy, the author of the book: The Compound Effect: Multiply Your Success One Simple Step at a Time, in that book he wrote this inspiring quote: “The dream in your heart may be bigger than the environment in which you find yourself. Sometimes you have to get out of that environment to see that dream fulfilled. It’s like planting an oak sapling in a pot. Once it becomes rootbound, its growth is limited. It needs a great space to become a mighty oak. So do you.” 

Below are some ways where you can learn and apply the techniques, on how to change yourself to a brand new person or reprogram your subconscious mind.

 

The first thing is you have to make positive affirmations. You have to empower your mind with positive questions and positive, satisfactory responses. For instance, make assertions to yourself like, “I am satisfied that I have accomplished my job well,” or "Because I'm truly believing in Jesus Christ then I'll not perish but I'll have eternal life, this is according to John 3:16." These are positive affirmations and works wonders for your subconscious mind.

 

Visualization is another important method that helps you to change into a new man and plays a major role in the powering of your subconscious mind. This visualization must be creative and you must have the power to think and feel the things you want in life. It means that you must be able to imagine it with eyes closed. The method of visualization plays a major role in the subconscious mind because research studies have shown that mental training (visualization) enhances the cortical output signal, which drives the muscles to a higher activation level and increases personal strength.    

 

Audio programs are also another way to boost-up the subconscious mind to a higher new level. Here you attain a high concentration. For example, if you hear some positive words silently at night in an audio player even while you are asleep, it makes an impact in your mind and it plays the role of affirmation in the subconscious mind. This is important because whatever is in your heart, determines what you say! 

 

Words and emotions influence the subconscious mind more than other parts. This is the reason why you have the power to attract more things when you are in a happy state of mind, as at that time, the subconscious mind is full of affirmations and visualizations.

 

Thus, the mind is a really highly complex process which if you want to study, you have to spend years and years to understand its pattern of functioning through study. Now let's turn to our main discussion of this article on how your subconscious mind affects your thoughts and behavior. 

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old is gone; a new life has begun!" 

2 Corinthians 5:17, NLT.

How Your Subconscious Mind Affect Your Thoughts And Behavior

 

The greatest and most beautiful gift given by God to man is the subconscious mind. Though it is highly complex to understand, yet it is the point where everything is controlled. A brain has two parts – the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. 

The conscious mind is that part of the brain that controls your thought and actions. In other words, you are in control of the conscious mind. On the other hand, a subconscious mind has control over the emotions and feelings of a person. Therefore, you are not in control of a subconscious mind. In other words, we can say, the subconscious mind controls you.

 

Studies show that when you hear any news or anything, the subconscious mind is the first one to receive the information. It reaches the subconscious mind directly. Therefore, if you hear negative words throughout the day, then negative thoughts affect your subconscious mind automatically and you start to develop a pessimistic attitude in life. Thus, always try to be realistic and hear and say positive things, then your subconscious mind and you, in general, will develop an optimistic attitude towards life.

 

If you repeat something constantly, then your subconscious mind automatically will accept the thing as fact because you were repeating it This is called affirmations due to your repetitive actions. For example, if you are constantly saying something positive about an event, the chances are high that you will get a positive outcome. 

However, if you are repeating something negative, say, for example, you are constantly calling yourself a person with less self-confidence and feel that way, then chances are high that you will turn into a negative person or a person with lesser self-confidence or low self-esteem. This happens because your subconscious mind has accepted your repetitive thoughts as fact. This ultimately has a negative effect on your overall well-being.

 

The subconscious mind plays a major role to make a person turn healthier or unhealthier in life. However, if you can use the subconscious mind in a positive way, then it can bring a huge change in your life and change your life for the better. Since it involves emotions and feelings, therefore, it has the power to heal negative feelings if you are in a positive environment. However, it can have the reverse effect also.

 

Thus, the subconscious is a powerful tool gifted by God to Man to achieve the thing he or she wants in life. Many people yet do not know the role of a subconscious mind. It is important to bring this amazing gift of subconsciousness to the awareness of all people of the world and making each person lives a paradise life on earth.

Here's a video from Top Think which unveils what they call:13 spooky facts about our subconscious mind.

 

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Take 4 Steps And 3 Actions To Become Financially Free

Becoming financially free is possible if you take control of your money and lifestyle and stick to your intention as the highest priority. Even if you are in debt right now, with some planning, you can find soon your bank account start to accrue some savings. 

It only takes some time to do some financial planning now and then make some goals to make sure you achieve your objective sooner rather than later.

 

1. Begin by taking a personal inventory about the true state of your financial affairs as they look today. Prepare a personal balance sheet. Create two columns and in one column, list the money saved and assets you have that are available and your regular salary or other sources of income. The goal of financial planning is to be able to pay the bills in the second column from what is available in the first column and still save some amount.

2. The second step is to create your personal weekly budget. Base your budget estimate on your weekly income.

• Begin by estimating your weekly income before you pay all the bills or do anything else with your money.

• Put a minimum of 10- 20% of your weekly income before bills into a savings account. Remember to tithe because it spiritually acts as an insurance premium for Divine Providence. You'll understand well, how this works if you walk by faith and not by sight. 

• Then start to work out how much you expect you'll need to pay in the bills this month. Include all debts as well as utility and other bills you may have or expect to receive. Ensure that you budget enough amount to pay more than the minimum amount required to settle your debts. If you only pay the minimum required you will not achieve your goal of being debt-free faster.

• Divide that amount by four and this will give you a weekly amount you will need to subtract from your income to cover your bills on a weekly basis.  

• Allocate any remaining money for personal use, to increase bill repayments or to increase savings. Give priority to bill repayment, then necessary personal needs, and last savings.

 

3. The third step is to start looking for alternative income sources if your expenditures (not including personal use money) are greater than all your income. This may mean taking a second job, or looking for a higher paying job, or starting a new business. The price you pay for short-term pain will significantly gain more dividends in the long-term. M. J. DeMarco, the author of the book: The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime, this is his quote from that book: “Instead of digging for gold, sell shovels. Instead of taking a class, offer a class. Instead of borrowing money, lend it. Instead of taking a job, hire for jobs. Instead of taking a mortgage, hold a mortgage. Break free from consumption, switch sides, and reorient to the world as a producer.”

 

4. Use credit cards with caution. It is advised that you always use them as you would use the hard cash. Only fall into debt when you truly have no other alternative to avoid getting into debt. You should clearly understand that what you're doing is - you're spending your future, unrealized earning in advance. So, once your financial situation improves, repay the balance in full as soon as possible to avoid high-interest charges on an extended period of repayments.

 

By focusing on these steps, it will be a matter of time before you achieve, what you truly deserve, a life with financial freedom. Now let's turn our discussion into understanding the meaning of becoming financially free. 

“‘Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me!’

But you ask ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’ ‘

You have cheated me of the tithes and offering due to me.

You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me.

Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,’ says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies,

‘I will open the windows of heaven for you.

I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!

Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them, from insects and disease. Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe’’

says the LORD of Heaven Armies. ‘

Then all nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight’ says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies.”

Malachi 3:8-12, NLT.  

 

The Meaning Of Becoming Financially Free

Let's start with financial planning, which in its simplest definition, is about taking control of your financial situation instead of allowing it to control you. It is about creating goals and then religiously committing to them. The reward for this action is what we call - the financial freedom, which you are craving to achieve. 

This financial freedom will enable you, first of all, it will make you debt-free, and secondly, you will be saving more money regularly, and thirdly, you'll remain with some money to spend on the things you enjoy and matter most in your life. In short, you'll be free financially.

To achieve financial freedom and live a life that is debt-free, or at least, have the ability to pay everyday expenses and provide for your family without needing to go into debt is the noble goal and it should be so to all other people. If you can't provide for your family basic needs, then be very careful, because depending on others, whether for borrowing or begging or doing evil, it's a guarantee that you lose your honor at any time.

 

And to achieve financial freedom need not be that difficult. People with a poor credit rating can turn their lives around and achieve a better rating simply by making financial goals for their life. Financial planning is not just for the rich and famous. Anyone who wants to achieve financial freedom must and should engage and incorporate some sort of financial planning in their lives.

Achieving financial freedom involves three major action-steps that you should plan on and act on them faithfully in order to liberate yourself from the prison of living in debts.

 

Creating A Budget

 

Creating a budget means ensuring income does not exceed expenditure and the goal of the budget is to create a lifestyle plan that covers all expenses and provides extra cash for saving and personal spending. You must learn to live within your means. 

Creating a budget involves not only listing the current income sources, but potential other sources to increase income if required. The interest paid on debts is a constant drain on finances. While it may seem logical to payout small debts and then focus on the large ones, in fact paying off the larger debts first will save more money in the long term.

 

Living By That Budget

 

A budget is only as successful if there is a commitment to live within the budget and resist any kind of impulse of buying anything that may cause voluntary over expenditure. The exception to this rule is the true emergency, which although not budgeted is covered by the savings plan you have put in place or plan to buy an insurance policy for a predictable emergency. If you have plans to buy household furniture or other expensive items, delay doing this until you are debt-free.

 

Increasing Savings

 

Allocate a weekly fixed amount of money as savings. Do not compromise on this amount for any reason. It is your key to future financial freedom. It's your safety-net when you fall into financial disasters. And along the way, you can start investing some of your money in order to leverage the growth of your nest egg by the compound effect available to you when you invest wisely.   

Here's a video by Stefan James of Project Life Mastery. Here he advises us to seek financial freedom first then start to work on becoming rich when our income has exceeded our expenses.  

 

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Ways To Become Debt-Free And Credit Cards Smart Use

                                          Image by: Alpha Stock Images

 

The fact that you are reading this article shows that you have come to the decision that you want to reduce your debts or you want to be equipped so that the next time you fall into it then you can easily get out of it, and this is quite commendable. However, consolidating your debts is not as easy as it sounds; you need wisdom, strategy, and determination.

 

You first need to know the adverse effects that debts have on you. You may be in dire need of property, a car, or starting capital for business, and you may need some sort of financing. As long as you have a trail of debts after you, then you can rest assured that no financier will look your way. Therefore, your hands become tied-up.

 

Debt consolidation is usually the first step you should take in mending your broken credit history. Debt consolidation does not make all your debts vanish into thin air; what this does is that interest rates go down when debts are consolidated. The fact that you pay less interest on your debts means that you are able to pay your debts much faster than you would have if you had not consolidated them. 

There are many financiers who give nice debt consolidation loans, and you should consider getting one. I must mention at this point that the better your credit history is, the easier it is to get a debt consolidation loan.

 

You might want to consolidate your debt by other means except getting a consolidation loan. Well, if you own a home, there is good news for you. You can put up your home for a mortgage refinancing scheme that can be used to pay all other creditors, leaving you with only one lender – the mortgage financier.

 

However, if the above options do not suit you because you are limited due to one reason or the other, then all is not lost. You can get yourself a debt management agency to get the consolidation job done for you. The advantage with such agencies is that they can get your debts consolidated without you necessarily having a home or any other form of security. Consider consolidating your debts especially when you have gotten to a point where your debts are unmanageable and they are driving you crazy.

 

You can do the application online to the relevant agency. Searching for the agencies via the internet is advantageous because you have a range of agencies to choose from. Go through various agencies online before deciding on which one you will choose to work with.

Once you've picked the suitable one for you, please apply the advice from Dave Ramsey, the author of the book: The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan For Financial Fitness, who said that: "I tell everyone never to take more than a fifteen-year fixed-rate loan, and never have a payment of over 25 percent of your take-home pay. That is the most you should ever borrow.”

"Just as the rich rule the poor, 

so the borrower is servant to the lender." 

Proverbs 22:7, NLT.

4 Smart Tips To Using Credit Cards

 

Plastic money, which comes in the form of credit cards, is really loved and highly used. There is nothing you cannot purchase with one swipe of the credit card. Credits companies generate multi-billion dollar revenues every year on credit card users. This revenue is made when they deduct their charges and when they find you for late payments, transfers, and over-limits. 

However, a credit card can be a good servant if used wisely but a bad master when used unwisely. As a matter of fact, you can even get bonuses when you learn how to wisely use your plastic card. The following tips will be of great help to you if you apply wisely.

 

1. There are many credit card companies to choose from; choose the best. The best credit card you can have is one that has good interest rates and an open bonus system. Some credit cards usually have rewards for you, if you use it wisely. The rewards range from cashback to college fees for your kids. You can have a look at the customer reviews on a credit card before choosing it to be your financier. Such reviews will give you the best image of the credit card, and the experiences of other customers will help you make the right choice.

2. Avoid carrying balances on your credit card. These financial companies reward those who have a clean record when it comes to having balances in their credit cards. Paying off the balances usually relieves you of the burden of paying huge amounts of interest rates. Make it your aim to pay off any balance in your credit card at the end of every month.

3. Learn how to communicate with your credit card company. When you have a balance that has been forwarded to the next month, pick up your phone and talk to your credit card company and see whether it is possible for the interest rate to be cut down. However, you can only benefit from such a step if you have previously kept a clean record of clearing balances with the company.

4. Avoid cash advances like plague. As a matter of fact, use cash advances only when you are faced with an emergency and there is no other way out. It is very easy to ask for a cash advance because when you get it you feel as if you have been given free money. However, such advances usually attract heavy interests and charges when you delay payment.

 

Use these smart tips when you use credit cards and then you will not feel them be the monster that they are usually touted to be. They truly help in the time of need, but in the long run, the solution can not be lethal than its problem.

 

Here's an episode by Philippine's J3 Patino of Pinoy Money Academy that explains, how smart are the rich in using the credit cards. These are the smart practical applications of using the credit cards. 

 

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Being Grateful, Your Liberty And Community Relationship

Do you find your life seems to be a constant whirl of activity where you don’t have time to sit for a minute and just contemplate the good things you have in your personal world? Society today seems to have created a cycle for most of us that necessitate a constant rush from activity to activity with little or no time to be still and appreciate the good things in our lives. If you're caught-up then you've to seek liberty from that vicious cycle.

Many of us need to stop and take stock of what we have, rather than what we don’t have. In order to stop this endless cycle that will eventually burn out or cause some other physical reaction, we've to learn to be grateful for the things we've rather than continuously seeking the things we don’t have. This moment of action will unleash the power of optimism in our lives.

Gratitude is a powerful characteristic to develop. As we focus on gratitude for the blessings that are ours today, we stop taking them for granted. Cicero once wrote, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, it is the parent of them.” The attitude of never having enough and never being grateful is such a negative attitude; others don’t want to be around it. Yet the opposite is true for the person who radiates gratitude. They usually attract more reasons to be grateful and find more reasons to be grateful.

This attitude permeates every part of their life and is the drive that compels them to undertake the activities scheduled for the day. People who learn to be genuinely grateful for what they already have, they become content and reduces the need to be constantly seeking more. They feel genuine appreciation for other’s efforts and contributions and have energy left over to reach out to others from the perspective of being appreciative of what they already have.

We all know people like this. History has recorded many famous names of people who have learned this important life lesson. We can transform the way we approach our life by developing this characteristic. Writing down each day at least three things to be grateful for, is a great way to cultivate this attitude and taking time during the day to express our gratitude to friends, family, God, or the world. This is a great way to learn to live in an attitude of gratitude even when we are faced with a hectic schedule in our daily lives.

Your Community Relationship

Would it not be so good if everybody could relate with the other without having to fight or using violence? I think the world would have been the best place to be and probably the astronauts would be thinking twice before leaving for space. Would it not also be great if no-one had to say mean things to others or break the other people's hearts?

Ibram Xolani Kendi, the author of the book: How To Be An Antiracist, he himself being black he has a deep concern with Black people in general especially those living in America. In one of his writing, he was quoted as saying: "The only thing wrong with Black people is that we think something is wrong with Black people."  

Would it not be true brotherly love if each race on earth would respect and protect another race and consider that the entire humanity is descendants of the one family of Adam and Eve created by God in the garden of Eden at the beginning of all things? 

It is so sad how little people consider humanity to be and this is seen in the many wars that have taken part in different parts of the world. Protest against racial abuse is evidence of bad relationships in our society. It is crystal clear that our relationships are the source of our never-ending problems. If only people could relate well then there would have been no bloodshed, no racism, no lives lost, no homeless people, no orphaned children, no widowers or widows - or to summarize it - there would be no evil.

We keep hearing of nations where peace is unheard of, fighting is always the order of the day, reason being; tribalism, racism or the greed of a leader who is too selfish to accept the fact that his/her ruling time is no longer compatible with the current economic challenges. 

It is such a pity how someone would prefer being filthy rich to help others, how mean is that? It really does not cost anything to share the little you have with the one who has nothing. it’s funny because we do forget that no one knows how tomorrow will be. And maybe, just maybe the same thing would happen to us the next day or to someone we know or close to us.

To solve our issues like the war, we first have to deeply consult ourselves in terms of relationships. Love is a very essential factor in building healthy relationships. Love never fails. For example, you can smile to that stranger who comes to your office looking for a job vacancy; you can properly shake hands with anyone, be friendly to that person who is asking for directions, kindly help the blind find way in the streets or help old people to cross the road safely. 

Still, you can welcome your new neighbor to your neighborhood in a warm and friendly manner, you can donate food and cloth and other unused stuff to the needy, you can do some community work in your area like collecting garbage or do some clean-up. And yes, you can go on and marry that good-behaving, good-looking opposite sex, from another race, if you are deeply in love. You have the liberty to do what is good and not always doing what is evil by default. 

Do not give favoritism, tribalism, religion, or skin color the first priority when you meet someone in an event or when anyone needs your help. Get to know others regardless of where they come from because it is not a place that makes a person rather it is their character and personality. If you put at work your best side by doing all those loving things to others, don’t you think you would change the world? It begins with you!

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

 And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, 

like putting on new clothes. 

There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. 

For you are all one in Christ Jesus. 

And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. 

You are his heirs, 

and God's promise to Abraham belongs to you.” 

Galatians 3:26-29, NLT.

Here's a video by Tom Richey, a good teacher of history. Here he helps us understand the concept of positive and negative liberty. 

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Positive People: Take The Good And Reject The Rest

Do you know a person who always seems happy and positive about themselves and life in general? They never seem to have a problem and seem to be able to deal with things in life with composure and grace. Do you wish you were more like them and able to deal with your life circumstances like they do?

Before we go deep, today in our image section in this post, we've featured an elderly man cheerfully listening to good music on the headset. There's no doubt he is happy despite the fact that he looks like he is too old to do something like dancing on the headset. He is the kind of person who has a positive outlook that we're talking about. The reward for these kinds of people is usually healthy, long-life, full of happiness.   

These people have a way of seeing life as being the “half-full glass” where even if things are going in the wrong way, they find something positive in it to focus on. This way of viewing life is natural for some people, but for the majority of people who use this approach to life, it is a learned response. It results from making an intention to look at the positive and not to dwell on the negative and then practicing doing this, day after day.

Sounds easy when it’s on paper, but in the reality of life, it’s usually not. How do people learn to focus on the half-full glass and not the half-empty one and remain positive? It’s not easy to be thankful when faced with terrible, difficult circumstances. However, practicing gratitude helps us deal with all but the most difficult experiences we may face in our lives. It is the key to the optimism that we see in the positive people we tend to admire so much.

When we complain all the time, we can quickly lose our perspective. Yes, the worker may have taken hours to complete a job that another worker may have completed in much less time, but before we complain at the bill, consider the work quality between the two. Maybe our concern is justified, but if the work produced is more superior in quality, then maybe the extra time was justified! 

Half-glass full thinking seeks to clarify a situation before complaining about it. It asks whether a complaint will make the situation better or worse and if it will help to resolve the issue. In most cases, the answer to both these questions is no! On those occasions when it is justified, then we should do something about it. 

A clear perspective on the situation can help us to resolve a seemingly irresolvable problem. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude helps us maintain a positive perspective on most things that happen in our life. It helps to keep the glass half-full even in the most horrific and difficult situation. 

Take the Good in Life and Reject the Rest

When was the last time you watched a bee as it busily went from flower to flower collecting the nectar and pollen that would become the life-saving energy source for the larvae back at the hive? While some bees are happy to collect pollen from many different plants and flowers, others specialize in only collecting from certain species. The honey produced in the hives of these specialist bees is premium, a highly sought after for its unique qualities and flavors.

In our life choices, we can be like the specialist honey-bee, taking the good things offered to us in life, and rejecting the rest that will potentially harm us, or our quality of life. Learning to say no is a powerful tool that many of us rarely use, if ever. There is nothing wrong with the pollen and nectar that the specialist bees reject. They have the potential to produce delicious honey too, but for the honey-bees that are searching for a special type of pollen; they represent imperfections and time-wasting activity. These specialist honey-bees know that not all glitters are gold.

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, 

and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” 

Luke 6:45, NLT. 

Learning to reject or say no to what will hurt or harm us in the long term is the key to reducing the amount of stress we carry each day. And to feel better about ourselves on the choices we make in our life. As we learn to reject the things that will harm us, we are more inclined to accept the things that will help us. Perhaps more importantly, we are able to learn to tell the difference between the two.

How can you tell the difference between what to accept and what to reject to help you stay stress-free? Most of us know instinctively what is going to cause us distress. These things are never accepted and must be rejected from our life, but what of those things that will cause us stress but not distress? Can we trust our instincts with them?

The answer is: growing through stress is not a bad thing and sometimes we do need to move outside of our comfort zone to achieve progress in our life. The key to knowing what will produce good stress and what will produce negative stress is to have a life plan and only accepting those things that contribute to our long-term life plan. Saying no to other things helps keep us focused on our goals and thinking positively about our life experiences.

Here's a video by Brendon Burchard, the author of the book: High-Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way. Here he gives us insight on how thoughts are generated and how you can develop the habits of thinking the positive thoughts on demand. 

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Transformation: Self-Acceptance And Compliments ...

Do you remember the last time someone gave you a compliment about your looks or your work? Did you accept that compliment with grace and appreciation, or did you, like most people, thank the person for giving it to you, and then immediately try to justify it?

"Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth - 

a stranger, not your own lips." 

Proverbs 27:2, NLT.

If this sounds like you, then today is the day to change that pattern of your thinking. Learning to accept compliments, especially sincere ones given by family and friends is an important step towards inner peace and happiness. We are so quick to criticize ourselves and so slow to accept compliments from others, but as we learn to take this important step in our life we find that it enriches our relationships and changes our perspective on ourselves and on the way we approach life.

Learning to accept compliments is an important self-growth and development step to transform your life. Perhaps you feel, like most people, that to accept compliments is to start on the pathway to self-pride and no one likes an egotistical person. There is a big difference between having pride in one’s, hard-earned achievements and being proud and this is something that we all need to learn to counter the negativity of our self-talk.

Every day we tell ourselves we are not good enough, or we don’t deserve the help that, is offered to us, or that we are not as beautiful as our spouse assures us we are. Challenging that talk requires accepting the opposite perspective and allowing people to tell us what they think of us, rather than what we think of ourselves.

When we reject the compliments and the comments of others genuinely praising our efforts, we are in effect, rejecting the person who has given them. Eventually, people will stop giving them compliments or offering help if they feel we are rejecting it. This can affect our marriages, our work relationships, and even our chance of a career and personal development along the way.

Try saying a simple and genuine thank you the next time someone offers you a compliment or praises you for a job well job done. Allow your self-talk to be challenged by their words and to create a hunger in you to see yourself as others see you. Write in a journal your attitudes to what is said to you and your response to it. You may feel uncomfortable at first, as you practice saying thank you without comment, it will transform you.


Why Self-Acceptance Is The Key To Life Transformation

Sometimes. in the course of our lives, we find ourselves saying yes to things, which creates tension in us. As we think of them, or about them, we wonder why we keep allowing ourselves to make the same bad decisions. Dwelling on the decisions we make can create a cycle of negative thinking and resisting the urge to say no can just keep adding to the tension we are experiencing.

The desire to be successful is important to most of us. We want to be the best entrepreneur, or husband, or provider for our family, or the best at our job. We want to make the best cakes or be the best mother or wife. Our self-esteem is often dependent on how we think others think about us. Our struggle to achieve great things in our life is often the result of a desire to feel accepted by others as a means of feeling self-accepted.

Even the most self-confident people have their insecurities about themselves. People with famous faces often resort to facelifts and heavy use of make-up to protect their public image. Being insecure is not a failing, but part of our humanity. When those insecurities begin to drive our decisions and our choices, then we risk making poor decisions and creating inner tension and negative self-talk.

To help develop a strong sense of self-acceptance, it is important to ask ourselves about the intentions we have in making our decisions and what our motivations are, in accepting it. Sometimes the good decisions we make, aren’t the best decisions. Instead, they reinforce the cycle of trying to find self-acceptance by first experiencing the acceptance of others.

Taking an inventory of our own dreams and strengths is essential to breaking this cycle. Our value and worth aren’t dependent on what others think, who we are, but in what we think of ourselves. As we get in touch with and enjoy the kind of person we are, we are able to make life decisions that contribute to and enhance our self-image and in the process, we find others accept us.

The cycle is reversed when this happens. When we accept ourselves, we begin to learn how to be self-confident and generous in our acceptance of others. We find ourselves being naturally accepted by others for what we are and not for what we do. But our characteristics are the most important determinant of what we do. If we have faith, we will do what is good and then we'll be accepted by both God and people. 

"Guard your heart above all else, 

for it determines the course of your life." 

Proverbs 4:23, NLT.

Here's is a video by Tim Ferriss, the author of the book: The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich. Here he is in discussion with Professor Brene Bown on the danger of using self-acceptance as an excuse for complacency. Professor Brown is also a published author and one of her books is called: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transform the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. 

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You Are Worth More Than What You Think!

Do you sometimes feel like you are a work in progress? Do you feel the drive to keep improving yourself and then find yourself in a spiral of despair because you just never feel like you measure up to your dream life? For many people, this is their reality. Research has shown that this may be one of the most common causes of weight gain and emotional eating disorders.

“Don't be afraid of those who want to kill your body; 

they cannot touch your soul. 

Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 

What is the price of two sparrow - one copper coin? 

But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 

So don't be afraid; 

you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.“ 

Matthew 10:28-31, NLT.

All of us need to find freedom from the cycle that we are imperfect. While we all have room to grow and develop; the most freeing of all realities about ourselves that we need to absorb and accept is that we are a unique and beautiful human being. There is no one quite like us on this earth and there never will be in all eternity. Once we accept this for ourselves, we can then look for ways to make what is good in us even better. Without this perspective, we will constantly strive to find some self-acceptance and won’t move much beyond this point in our life.

An old African proverb reminds us that: "if we don’t have any enemies inside us, then no external enemies can cause us to harm or hurt." Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, who is considered the father of the nation of India, and is known throughout the world as Mahatma Gandhi, was a true believer of self-worth and human dignity. He was once quoted as saying, "Nobody can hurt me, without my permission."

David Goggins, the author of the self-help memoir book called, Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds, where he offers practical advice on how to overcome your obstacles. He said this in one of his quotes: "We live in an external world. Everything you have to see it, touch it. If you can for the rest of your life, live inside yourself - to find greatness you have to go inside."

David Goggins himself was able to transform himself by overcoming obesity, cracked childhood foundation, and other obstacles, and on January 19, 2013, he broke the world record for most pull-ups done within 24 hours by completing 4,030 pull-ups in 17 hours.

Let me ask you a familiar question: have you noticed that when things are going well on the inside and you are feeling secure and happy with life, things that go wrong in your life don’t seem to be so bad? But when you are feeling bad about yourself, things are so different and your self-esteem becomes lower. The world seems to take on a much darker feeling and it’s more difficult to cope when things are not going the right way.

Learning to love yourself and to appreciate the uniqueness you are, is often the first stage of learning how to control your weight, feel confident in studying or changing careers, or learning a new hobby, or starting your own business, or even vying for a much-coveted political post. Many of the things we procrastinate over, that are for our own benefit and enrichment are often the things we don’t do, because perhaps deep inside we don’t think we are good enough or worthy enough to do these things for ourselves.

You should know your own worth. Be confident about yourself because self-confidence is a key ingredient for your success in life and entrepreneurial endeavors. It is easy to become demoralized, frustrated, and resentful if you lack self-confidence.

Self-confidence is concerned with how you feel about your abilities. You should not be scared to explore the uncharted territories, take calculated risks, and take on to answer the difficult questions. A confident person knows, deep inside himself that he is equal or more to the challenge ahead.

Self-confidence, however, is not a personal trait that either you have it or you don't. A person can have high self-confidence in one situation and totally lack in another area. This is one of those skills that can be developed by training and learning.

Challenge those of your negative thoughts and starting tomorrow - Choose one thing you want to do for you. Because guess what, you are worth it! Most people have to battle the self-talk and rarely say anything nice about themselves. Try looking in the mirror when you wake up and tell your reflection what you would tell your best friend... You are worth it!

Here's a powerful motivational YouTube video about your true value. Inside this video, your true value is contrasted with a one-dollar bill, and a great lesson is learned. The speaker, Jeremy Anderson, claims that no matter what happened to you, your true value is unchangeable!

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The Importance Of Active Listening To Others

Do you find yourself misunderstanding what your spouse or work colleague says to you? Do you find yourself questioning your responses to them? Most people hear others speaking to them, but most of the time our interactions are not focused and we may listen to other people speak without truly hearing what they want to say to us.

Learning how to listen is a skill that helps us to clear our minds of thoughts and behaviors that may interrupt our ability to hear what the other person is trying to say, rather than what we think what they are saying.

Learning how to listen to people around us is also a journey of self-discovery. Instead of responding to people’s comments and thoughts as a reaction, we take the time to understand what they are saying and in thinking about how their words are impacting us. By doing this, we are identifying the natural way to react to people’s words and think about how we would prefer to react to them.

We can then develop and practice self-control techniques, to assist us to respond more appropriately to anything people may say to us.

Professor Felice Leonardo "Leo" Buscaglia, also known as "Dr, love", the author of the book: Born for Love: Reflections on Loving, once was quoted as saying, "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

You may have heard active listening referred to as reflective listening. It involves listening to others around us talk to us and taking time out to ensure that we understand their words and the meanings behind those words. We ask questions like “So you mean this.” to reflect back to the person what we think they have said. We use words like “I feel angry when you say that” rather than lashing out in anger and using a “you” phrase like “you always do this.”

Our focus is not on the words spoken but on the person speaking and what they meant by their words. This way of listening can take some getting used to, but once we learn this skill will change the way we relate to people and interact with them, and learn about ourselves in the process.

If you sometimes feel misunderstood when you are talking to people, you probably have an understanding of the importance of really being heard and not just listened to. As we begin to practice active listening, you will soon learn the phrases and body language that you personally find difficult to deal with. You will develop important techniques and qualities that enable you to remain in control of your thoughts and emotions when having discussions with others.

“To those who listen to my teaching, 

more understanding will be given, 

and they will have an abundance of knowledge. 

But for those who are not listening, 

even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them. That's why I use these parables, 

‘For they look, but they don't really see. 

They hear, but they don't really listen or understand. “ 

Matthew 13:12-13, NLT.

Let's Look On The Application Of Active Listening       

Most people approach differences of opinions with other people attempting to defend their point of view. Our intention may be to defend our personal position, but most people view our defensive stance as attacking their viewpoint. It can create confrontation and easily leads to interpersonal issues with the other person. This approach to conflict resolution creates many avoidable arguments in the workplace and at home. Yes, you've to listen to other's viewpoints but always stick to the fact.

So how can we present our point of view without creating this reaction in people? The key is to learn to see the situation from the other’s viewpoint and address it from within their viewpoint as well as from our own. And to grasp their viewpoint correctly, you must apply active listening. Yes, we can still express our thoughts and feelings about a situation using this approach, but it usually produces a very different outcome.

This technique is an excellent way to approach all communication, whether with family, friends, work colleagues, or strangers. We learn to express our thoughts, concerns, and ideas and even disagree with others but acknowledge verbally and through our body language, that the other person has the right to their opinions and thoughts about the issue causing the disagreement.

Don't tell people that they're wrong when arguing for something, but express a factual argument that will pinpoint the other person's wrongdoing. Show to them their faulty thinking by analyzing the facts by starting with their viewpoints, and logically deduce the argument to your conclusion. Be ready to accept the valid conclusion even if it favors their viewpoints. 

This approach maintains a relationship between two people that acknowledges that no one position is more valid than another’s views, perspectives, or thoughts. This does not mean that both ideas are equally valid but conveys the understanding that the other person has a right to the thoughts or opinions about the situation causing the disagreement. This approach values the relationship and validates the person, whilst not necessarily validating the problem or the suggested solution.

There is an old saying that states, “you will never know another person until you first walk in their shoes.” Trying to approach and diffuse a situation from their perspective enables us to walk in their shoes in the situation. It changes the “I want” statements, which presents the issue from our perspective to the “I know you feel this way and can understand why you do, but may I present another idea or show you why that idea is not the best one.”

As we learn and apply this technique in our lives, it becomes obvious we have gained insight into an extremely important life lesson that validates and maintains relationships, even if we don’t agree with the other person. It helps us to approach potential life challenges in a non-confrontational way that promotes discussion and resolution in our dealing with others.

Here's is a video by William Ury, author of the book: Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Here he gives a TEDx talk on the power of listening.

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How To Achieve Life-Work Balance Without Stress

 

Most of us have things in our lives we want to do, as well as those things we have to do. Perhaps you want to go to the gym more often, or you want to read more books this year. Like most of us, do you find yourself wishing you had more time to pursue the things you want to do as well as the things you need to do?

 

Whilst time management is important to achieving these goals, some other steps must precede it. As you define these steps, preferably using a journal to keep track of what you discover about yourself, they will help you achieve that work and life balance that will enable you to do those things you want to do and achieve at this point in your life.

 

1.    List Your Goals

 

All of us have goals that change regularly and that reflect other things going on in our life at the time. List your goals and prioritize them from important to least important. Include not only the goals you have to achieve but also the personal goals you want to achieve.

 

2.   List Your Daily Schedule

 

Although we want more time in the day, all of us have 24 hours per day. No more, no less. We use some of these hours for sleep and some of these for work and recreation purposes. List down your daily schedule and include the things you must do because they are a commitment. This may include work commitments or school sport commitments with the children.

 

3.  Prioritize Your Personal Goals with Equal Priority as Work-Related Goals

 

Don’t minimize the time available to do the things you want to do, particularly if they are contributing to your life goals or overall wellbeing. Include family time and other essential life activities that require your time and attention.

 

Keep to the Schedule unless in an Emergency

Most people who create a daily schedule, keep to it for a while, but not long enough for it to become a habit. Habits take approximately around 3 weeks to form, so if you want your new approach to work and lifestyle to be maintained, you must protect it at all costs. If you want to achieve your own personal goals, you must protect them at all costs. Eventually, the changes you implement will become second nature, but until then, you need to stay in control of your time management.

"You have six days each week for your ordinary work, 

but on the seventh day, you must stop working, 

even during the seasons of plowing, and harvest." 

Exodus 34:21, NLT.

How To Eliminate Stress In A Stressful Situation

All of us face change in our life. Sometimes we love it, look forward to it and enjoy the preparations that are involved in making it happen. On other occasions, change can be very distressing. Usually occurring without warning, we are usually unprepared for it. We can feel quite disorientated when change is unexpected and it can produce physical reactions we may feel we have little control over.

If we noticed that our life is disorganized and is full of stress and after reading this, we firmly decide to make the necessary changes in order to attain the desired life-work balance, then we should first of all prepare for the unexpected.

 

Facing unplanned change with a prepared mind helps to re-orientate life even when it seems to be out of our control. If we accept that change is inevitable, we see the sense of thinking about and preparing to deal with it well ahead of when it actually happens. It also helps us reflect on how we will eliminate stressful reactions when we face those stress and the changes we're going to make in our life.   

 

Taking the time to plan and prepare for change is not inviting fate, but facing reality. People who work in occupations that involve dealing with sudden unexpected emergencies are in a state of readiness at all times. They learn to anticipate all possible scenarios by learning how to deal with them before they occur. They learn how to prevent the situation or minimize their harm, and they learn to enact certain actions when these events do occur.

 

We gain valuable insight into how to prepare for change by learning how to apply their approaches to potential change and stressful situations. We prepare for change, or potential stresses in three ways: 

Firstly, the higher the risk of something happening, the more we should anticipate it likely to happen. People living in areas where there is a high risk of a natural disaster occurring, prepare for its inevitably, by preparing their surroundings each year and psychologically being ready for it. 

 

Secondly, contrary to people may think, being psychologically prepared for change is possible. Although it is impossible to know what it will be like to face being a parent, for example, we can prepare ourselves by reading and identifying possible areas of concern we may personally face in our new parenting role.  

 

Thirdly, we can learn to manage our responses and thoughts in times of minor changes and challenges. As we do this, we are providing ourselves with invaluable training. Learning how to deal with the many minor challenges and changes we face daily, will help us to develop the skills to deal with stress in both the unexpected an expected major events.

Here's a video of TED talk by Nigel Marsh, author of the book: Overworked and Underlaid: A Seriously Funny Guide To Life. He is giving his thoughts on four observations he found in studying the issue of work-life balance. 

 

 

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