Do you remember the last time someone gave you a compliment about your looks or your work? Did you accept that compliment with grace and appreciation, or did you, like most people, thank the person for giving it to you, and then immediately try to justify it?
"Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth -
a stranger, not your own lips."
Proverbs 27:2, NLT.
If this sounds like you, then today is the day to change that pattern of your thinking. Learning to accept compliments, especially sincere ones given by family and friends is an important step towards inner peace and happiness. We are so quick to criticize ourselves and so slow to accept compliments from others, but as we learn to take this important step in our life we find that it enriches our relationships and changes our perspective on ourselves and on the way we approach life.
Learning to accept compliments is an important self-growth and development step to transform your life. Perhaps you feel, like most people, that to accept compliments is to start on the pathway to self-pride and no one likes an egotistical person. There is a big difference between having pride in one’s, hard-earned achievements and being proud and this is something that we all need to learn to counter the negativity of our self-talk.
Every day we tell ourselves we are not good enough, or we don’t deserve the help that, is offered to us, or that we are not as beautiful as our spouse assures us we are. Challenging that talk requires accepting the opposite perspective and allowing people to tell us what they think of us, rather than what we think of ourselves.
When we reject the compliments and the comments of others genuinely praising our efforts, we are in effect, rejecting the person who has given them. Eventually, people will stop giving them compliments or offering help if they feel we are rejecting it. This can affect our marriages, our work relationships, and even our chance of a career and personal development along the way.
Try saying a simple and genuine thank you the next time someone offers you a compliment or praises you for a job well job done. Allow your self-talk to be challenged by their words and to create a hunger in you to see yourself as others see you. Write in a journal your attitudes to what is said to you and your response to it. You may feel uncomfortable at first, as you practice saying thank you without comment, it will transform you.
Why Self-Acceptance Is The Key To Life Transformation
Sometimes. in the course of our lives, we find ourselves saying yes to things, which creates tension in us. As we think of them, or about them, we wonder why we keep allowing ourselves to make the same bad decisions. Dwelling on the decisions we make can create a cycle of negative thinking and resisting the urge to say no can just keep adding to the tension we are experiencing.
The desire to be successful is important to most of us. We want to be the best entrepreneur, or husband, or provider for our family, or the best at our job. We want to make the best cakes or be the best mother or wife. Our self-esteem is often dependent on how we think others think about us. Our struggle to achieve great things in our life is often the result of a desire to feel accepted by others as a means of feeling self-accepted.
Even the most self-confident people have their insecurities about themselves. People with famous faces often resort to facelifts and heavy use of make-up to protect their public image. Being insecure is not a failing, but part of our humanity. When those insecurities begin to drive our decisions and our choices, then we risk making poor decisions and creating inner tension and negative self-talk.
To help develop a strong sense of self-acceptance, it is important to ask ourselves about the intentions we have in making our decisions and what our motivations are, in accepting it. Sometimes the good decisions we make, aren’t the best decisions. Instead, they reinforce the cycle of trying to find self-acceptance by first experiencing the acceptance of others.
Taking an inventory of our own dreams and strengths is essential to breaking this cycle. Our value and worth aren’t dependent on what others think, who we are, but in what we think of ourselves. As we get in touch with and enjoy the kind of person we are, we are able to make life decisions that contribute to and enhance our self-image and in the process, we find others accept us.
The cycle is reversed when this happens. When we accept ourselves, we begin to learn how to be self-confident and generous in our acceptance of others. We find ourselves being naturally accepted by others for what we are and not for what we do. But our characteristics are the most important determinant of what we do. If we have faith, we will do what is good and then we'll be accepted by both God and people.
"Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life."
Proverbs 4:23, NLT.
Here's is a video by Tim Ferriss, the author of the book: The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich. Here he is in discussion with Professor Brene Bown on the danger of using self-acceptance as an excuse for complacency. Professor Brown is also a published author and one of her books is called: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transform the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
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